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Posted by on Jul 5, 2015 in Arts, Media

Confessions of a Newspaper Junkie

Confessions of a Newspaper Junkie

For years I’ve been threatening to cancel my three morning newspapers. Too expensive, too much paper, too little time to read them. So, I did it. I pulled the plug.

When I called The Globe and Mail to cancel my subscription, the woman at the other end of the phone sounded genuinely hurt. “Oh dear,” she said. “I am so sorry we will be losing you as a long-standing customer. What if we offered you 25 percent off to stay?” “Not good enough,” I sniffed. Then I called the subscription line for the Ottawa Citizen and National Post. The man at the other end of the line put my request through without batting an eyelash. There, I did it. I am free of paper…

But I feel bereft. I miss the gentle thud of newspapers hitting my front door, a sound that spoke of connection to a bigger world outside my home. I miss turning the pages slowly, coffee in hand, as I scanned the headlines. Frankly, firing up the computer first thing in the morning to read Google News seems wrong. I want to ease myself into my day gently, not peer into a screen to see what’s happening around the globe.

So I wavered. I called back The Globe and Mail. “The other day you offered me 25 percent off,” I reminded the anonymous voice at the end of the phone. “Can you do better? Can you give me 50 percent off?” Without missing a beat, she replied, “Done.”

Oh, Globe and Mail, I feel a rekindling of our love. Our relationship is back on track. Granted, we will only see each other on Saturdays, not throughout the week like before. But I promise to be good to you. I promise to be faithful. I promise to give you my full attention. Now, maybe I will screw up my courage to call my former flames, the Ottawa Citizen and the National Post. Maybe this time we can come to an understanding about our relationship that works for everyone.


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